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"Fat bottom girls they make this rockin world go round"
-Queen, Fat Bottom Girls

Geez man. Where do I start after a good system blow out? The F*ckin beauty that was Thursday nights ride at Heil Valley Ranch with the NEW Wild Turkey Loop that just blew my mind, or today's 14 miles of huckin a 2 year old in a Burley up singletrack climbs in the dirt. It was all good and got me thinking about how i have to enjoy myself as a sentient 2 legged creature that can still move.

All the conversations about how in meer evolutionary moments, we will see the opposable thumb increase in dexterity and decrease in size to evolve the modern text messenger. What about the overweight couch potato? how will this beastie impact and evolve?

With obesity on the rise and online shopping keeping them at eBay, how can we hope to keep our legs? While thumbs are going wild, legs are disappearing and the evolution of the species is becoming all too evident to me.

Now forgive me if you're of the over-weight ilk, but my thought bubble is bursting here. I'm not the masochist that trains and trains and trains and then races a triathlon just to see if i like it, but on the same page, I'm not a sloth.
I know enough to say that i'll skip that extra loaf of bread but still silly enough to buy that bottle of squeezie cheese and kill it with a group of friends over a box of wheat thins and a campfire. Now barring any sort of glandular problems, where in the world do invented -isms and the need to stuff yourself like a holiday pig play?

If there were still giant lizards running around, it's be great cause we all know that the little fat kid in class was never very fast. There could be an upside to having a token "sandwich man" along for that stroll down to the nearest watering hole. But those days are far and few between in this western world.

Now I was thinking on my ride this afternoon that obesity will eventually lead to an evolutionary change that will take the legs from the Homo Sapien. Picture that. A big corpuscle with a nasty look and long arms with either a personal people mover to take them up the stairs to bed or just a Matrix style pod that closes and locks them in for the night. Pleasant dreams Mr./Mrs. Bacon and Mayo Sandwich.

I need to ride more to stop this evolution. To teach my children the way. Ride children! Save your race! Send me a text when your done.

Labels: Get on your bike and ride

Posted by soulswirl at 12:33 AM | Permalink | Comments

"your replica, your atom bomb, will keep you warm, will take you home"
-the shortwave set "replica"

I've received an email of proportion regarding the Massive Attack Meltdown.
I am country bound and sad that i cannot make it there.

Labels: Meltdown, replica, the shortwave set

Posted by soulswirl at 9:38 PM | Permalink | Comments

ive been fooled by the lover, fooled by the sinner, fooled myself into thinking i was living"
-Black Rebel Motorcyle Club "Berlin"

Poem on Wednesday Morning

woke with the buzz of gin still in my head.
last night merriment on 2 wheels,
screaming thru the streets of Boulder,
lights ablazin.
Catchin the Boulder Daze Train back home
after Rogue Wave.
and now look at me.
Breaky and a latte. Shouting poetry thru the house at LowLand,
as he stares at me with a spry eye
thru the slates of the dining room chair.
He knows all the words and yet,
refuses to use them.
Giving me the same impish grin,
day to day. On a Wednesday.
Hurray!
and now look at me.
thinking about having to drop the oil pan and change the stink.
It's here in the basement.
I can smell it.

Labels: poem, wednesday

Posted by soulswirl at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comments

" ...if they were me and i was you would you have liked a present too?"
-Altered Images "Happy Birthday"

Lovelywife was born today. I almost forgot this and low be the head of a man that forgets his wife's birthday. Seems like only last year that i was catchin hell for not even making a cake on the day of her birthday, despite getting $80 tix to go see Def Leppard and Journey. For Shame.

We all live and learn.

Posted by soulswirl at 1:40 AM | Permalink | Comments

" Well I let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone who is over the brink"
-Ministry "(Everyday is) Halloween"

Tonight was All Hallows Eve. Tons of kiddies out in the street, dressed up like their favorite pirate. Yes, ALOT of pirates afoot tonight. Plenty of Grim Reapers too, so don't be worried.

Has Johnny Depp set the trend for the next few Halloweens? Are we destined to reap the benefit of Disney's over marketing to the youth of today? I even had a tween girl come to the casa and tell me she was Paris Hilton. She didn't even have a costume on. I refused her treats on the grounds that she didn't even try. And what is it with kids that are scared to come up to my house? I think that parents have them so phyched out about "evil do'ers" and people who are out to abduct them that we are about to enter a very long period of hypochondria about our children being taken from us or harmed by nar-do-wells. Look out kids, that person over their looks like a fiend that will eat your brains. I was going on a recon up the street and as i stood on the corner, Ron and Nancy Reagan cam walking down the street. they stopped and looked at me and i at them. after what seemed like a good 20 seconds, they crossed the street and ran. I did nothing to warrant this. I made no pedafilic moves to grab and/or rub on them so it couldn't have been that. Could it have been my horns and wings or the red plastic cup with and undisclosed liquid in it? I'm not sure. but as i stood there scratching my head, they were looking over their shoulder like i was going to take after them and drag them into the 3rd level of Hell. I will chalk it up to my uncanny make-up ability.

Highlite of the night was scaring the bejesus out of two 10 yr old girls that saw me standing on my patio talking to my MIL and waiting for them, but must not have got the whole, person not in their house thing. Granted, the afore mentioned uncanny make-up WAS over the top, but for them to scream and bolt, priceless.

It got me thinking about illicite drugs and parading around to see the procession of costumes and candy. I had a drink in hand whilst standing in the cold for 3 hours handing treats out and the costumes got better and better as the night went on probably in part to the liquid lub that was keeping me outside in 38 degree weather. My cheers go out to SEv next door and SAL for providing tasty brew. Check out the Rock Bottom Brewery and their Kolsh if it's a available. Yummy.

Posted by soulswirl at 1:14 AM | Permalink | Comments

Can't get my head in the game. Think I'm over tired and this here beer isn't helping me concentrate. Today at 11:20 am a friend passed away and i just found out this evening after sucking paint fumes from BLoves room mural in production. Feel like i want to pull an Eric Cantona judo kick to someone. Just need to figure out who the luck recipient will be.

Tomorrow i go to take down the Palace of Marvels show that got very little action. I was hoping to sell a painting and get a tattoo but that seems to have gone the way of the dodo. A new acquaintance, Jojo from Boulder Ink has this flash book with some sweet little pieces that I'm trying to figure out how to trade for. the right calf calls out for ink. maybe something in the upper middle chest. Another devil? With dice. and a banner that reads, "roll the dice sucka".

Tomorrow also marks the 10th year of marriage to Lovelywife. Think about that for a minute. In this day and age, i think 10 years is astounding. We seem to be hanging in there while the rest of the field takes it in the chin. Like Constantine has taken to saying now that I've got him to accept my longitivity, "the more people that get divorced around you, the better chances you have to stay married yourself." And aint that the truth.

Labels: anniversary, random

Posted by soulswirl at 12:46 AM | Permalink | Comments

"If I can't see you, you can't be you."
— Bishop Berkeley

So I'm sitting here in my caffinated-post-spraypaint-induced morning state waiting for my seperation packet so that i can end this stage of my life and figure out what i want to do with the whole thing. How can I, make all ends meet and keep myself happy? Motivated? Balanced?

Today started off with my new word of the day. Solipsism. Stemming from the latin word solus, meaning alone and ipse, meaning self. It's the whole Descartes, "I think, therefore I am" thing. Except i have to resolve to withdraw into this self reality to figure out what i want to be when i grow up. Can i create my own reality and make it work? Can i talk my wife into letting me go to Vegas to start off the process?

Can't i just be a goof-off? Isn't the payscale for that particular profession making a turn for the better in the market? I know so many people who have taken the Smokey and the Bandit manifesto to heart. I just have to get over the initial shock to the system. Breathe the new air so to speak. Pick the brains of the crowd that have made the transition and are still alive to tell about it. Go to a seminar.
Make my own seminar! Make a movie in black and white.

It says here in my seperation pack that 64% of all new jobs are found thru networking. I'll take that to heart and talk to alot of people. Buy some drinks and get my chat on. Woo them. Make them love me. Dazzle them with my in depth knowledge of everything. Yes, that's exactly what i'm gonna do. And then i'm gonna git loaded, and I'm gonna have a good time.

But first i have to find a pair of slip on Vans for end of summer comfort and groovin. Ha!

Posted by soulswirl at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments

"Everything looks different from far away"
--Postal Service 'Such Great Heights'

Well, it's almost time for me to leave the working sector and branch out into something new. It's been one of those slow motion train wrecks that i've been watching now for about a year. It was almost preposterous that it's taken this long for the Aquiring Company (let's just refer to them as That Other Company)to let me go. I mean, I know that i'm quite a catch, just ask my wife, but to keep me in that rusty bird cage with all their birds just squacking was making me re-evaluate the payola. Maybe they do get things done for their offices that they like better. Like that highschool teacher that would do special little things for you because you were doing something special for her.

I think Colorado just isn't doing anything that the home office is taking an interest in. They should just say, "You're Fired" to all the coporate survivors that are trying to stick it out in a hostile home environment.

It's crazy. That's one of the reasons why I had no interest in going to the office. Just stay at home and answer all questions and problems from the sanctity of my save and sheltered basement where i only have to go upstairs to get my water and some salted pretzel rods and then return to burning my eyes out on 2 monitors. Bliss.

I wish those whom i leave at the new company will find their way and either be accepted into the popular crowd or move out and find people who like them better. Gotta hate when the same team mates are the ones trapping you in the locker room and giving you that super wedgie and then spreading it around that you're a subserviant dooshbag/whore to your manager. Take that red stapler and pop a few caps in some asses. Take back the power and let them know you're not some mediocre slack-ass from Silicon Valley who actually does suck a dick to push your programs to the top of the cue.

I'm gonna go make a t-shirt and start a revolution now.

Posted by soulswirl at 10:32 PM | Permalink | Comments